Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
