Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
