i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
