Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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