He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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