I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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