dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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