We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
