are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize