everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
