You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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