Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
