The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize