I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
