I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
