how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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