is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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