is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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