Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
