We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
