the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
