How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
