You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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