she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
