She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
