i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
