1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
