Buhtt sex?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
