the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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