is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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