I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
