mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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