tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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