Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Small penises have feelings too.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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