if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
MIDGETS
????
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
