Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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