Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"