So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i think i just lost a toe
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated