In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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