May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize