Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
