East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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