Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
