bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
