he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
