Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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