WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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