Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
