Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
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I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
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Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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