Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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