Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
