I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
