So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
