Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
