K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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