I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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