I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Mom said you looked used
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
