I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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