That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He did a backflip because drugs
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
